Eye on the prize

Spoiler alert- I’m going to talk about something that makes people generally uncomfortable here- Money.

No specific details, mainly just my feelings about it in my situation.  This is my story as it unfolds-  I have an opportunity here to chronicle my hits and misses, food and otherwise. I would be doing myself and anyone else considering taking the plunge to change their life a dis-service by not discussing the realities of a paycheck in this industry. I knew it was coming…. I just didn’t know it would feel like this…

Dog in the headlights

You can check my background Here to find out what I was doing before all this craziness. Here is the $$ part- I was making at least 4x’s what I’m currently bringing home.  Momma still has billz, yo. Student loans, etc.

Starbucks is a luxury again (which is fine. I’m an old school trained barista ANYWAY. I can make better cappuccino. What can I say, its a gift.)

No extraneous clothes shopping for awhile.

Need a new knife? Save up.

I don’t remember feeling this “financial crunch” as it were, since i was a college student waiting in line for my paycheck. We didn’t have direct deposit at the ‘bucks.

Guess who is waiting in the kitchen on payday again<—-me.

Guess who is eternally grateful for NOT having had gone to culinary school at this point in her life  (read: 40,000 in debt)<—- Me.

Guess who has no shame about making the choice she needed to make to take control of her life and pursue the thing she is madly in love with <—–Me.

You can read one of my culinary idols’ opinions re: culinary school here, and the more I’m in this game, the more I tend to agree. I’ve heard both sides of the coin.

The point is, the money is a definite downside. But it’s not enough to deter me from pursing this dream I have. This dream that evolves every week, but never really strays from the truths I know about myself and about the industry. I’ve had to stay focused through several trials this week, and almost had my first breakdown in the kitch. (Instead, I watched someone elses’. – glad I didn’t get caught crying in the cooler.)

This week, I got to hold the prize. I got to touch it,  caress it, make sure that it fits me, that its the right size, right color.

I got to work the line. “Hot Apps, Poisonnier and Grill”-  I worked alongside someone who’s credentials were rather impressive (El Bulli anyone?) and I held my own.  This is because I have mentors that are great teachers and aren’t afraid to show me the ropes. My sous, executive chefs, and entire team for that matter are a blessing. I have heard horror stories of other kitchens, I’ve actually been in some awful ones myself.

So, I completely understand how FORTUNATE I am. Every day, I am grateful, and I hope I never lose that.

I hope, that one day when I’m weary I can come back to these posts and remember WHY I am doing this crazy thing.

Its because of the rush. Its because I can see things I have made. Its because People like the things I prepare. It’s because I have the skill to prepare them, consistently. It’s because I have the ability to think on the fly when I need to. Its because of my un-compromising standards for quality. Its because, even after a shitty day, I usually walk out with a smile.

Bryant Park....GOd I miss Manhattan






*grammatically correct? I learned way back when that when pluralizing, if it is possessive the apostrophe goes on the end….I could consult my Diana Hacker which is hands down the best grammar book on the planet, but Alas.

I am too lazy


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