as in, My a@@ on a platter. Todos los dias.
I am overwhelmed by the idea that as soon as I learn something new, I realize how much I really DON’T know. On one hand, it is the ideal situation, on the other the most frustrating. I am at peace with this dichotomy. Because in it, I know that I will never have a monotonous day. I know that I will learn something new every day for the rest of my working life.
This career is shaping me into a different person, and for now I am allowing it. Its reshaping my body, my soul, my mind, and my spirit, my palate, my social life.
so far, 6 days on the line. Some of which have been successful, yesterday however, not so much. All it takes is one look or a rhetorical question from a particular chef to bring me back to my knees. The question that I should have known the answer to, or I should have freaking asked the question myself if I didn’t immediately know the answer.
The look sends me reeling into this pit of disappointment, in myself and for disappointing chef.
I take these knocks hard- and I think that is good. It means I take it seriously.
I take a lot of pride in what I do every day. and I need to realize that I’m at the point now in my career that what little ego I do have should be put to the side if I’m not sure about something..
Now is the time to learn to walk, now is the time to ask for help and to do something right. Even if it is a dumb question.
At this point, ego is kind of like a shiny new knife- put it away when you don’t need to use it because in the end, you could be carving your own “rump roast”. Unless that ego is going to get me through the rush, or help me own my station, it is not necessary right now.
and I’ve had enough Meat this week.