208 Covers. I did 170 Flawlessly. I COOKED 130 without a problem.
Where did it go wrong? I have asked myself this 900 times the past day. I dreamed about it. Im almost sure I cried in my sleep.
At what point in the service did it go from Good to Terrible, Horrible and disgusting. I have never walked out of a place with my head so low.
It was everyone, everything. We went down in flames. While our Chef/owner was watching the whole thing.
It doesn’t matter that at the end of the night, the super famous chef singled me out and told “me good job, it’s difficult to keep the momentum when service was so bad. You held it together and made it happen even when it wasn’t working. That there are some design elements that are flawed. But you did a great Job.”
It doesn’t matter. It should. That would have put me on cloud nine before.
Was it the crazy dish we decided to put on the last second? Were we not prepped enough? I swear I prepped. My Mise Looked good- I had enough. It was my second day on Hot Apps, and it still looked good.
Was it the sous who decided to change the game plan at the last second and spend 45 minutes on tomato foam instead of prepping OUR station? Was it this person who was pulling tickets out of my perfectly capable hands and trying to expo and cook at the same time?
Was it the disturbing Text from my Real Life that I received in the middle of service?
When? Was it when the Sous was pulling tickets out of my hand and telling me to help on Garde Manger that I lost track of the board-the board that I wasn’t supposed to be running? Was it when he decided to change the game plan on me?
I wanted to cry.
My soul did. While I was sweeping floors and prepping Crema. My heart hurt from putting out food I wasn’t proud of. Food that I wouldn’t pay for. While the chef was watching.
My heart hurt because sometimes, people make Awful awful decisions that hurt everyone in the end. Because they think it’s easier, because they think it will minimize their pain.
What they don’t realize is that sometimes, a little extra work, a little extra time, and putting away your ego might just help everyone.